If my fiance grandfather just passed away. Do we have to get married within 100 days or 1 year or that we can get married anytime we choose?

[Cecil Lee]

If my fiance grand father just passed away. Do we have to get married within 100 days or 1 year or that we can get married anytime we choose?

 

1. For Chinese, we have a vast range of dialect groups. And one will be surprised to hear so many versions.

 

2. More importantly, does your family still have a strong matriach? In the past, this could be an elderly eg. a strict and somewhat considered as the final say in the family.

 

3. If so, she be consulted. In a closely knit family arena, some even consult a great-uncle or auntie.

 

4. if one does not have this hieracy but a benevolent parent? Or both side's parents can agree to your whatever requests and be flexible then not a major concern.

 

5. Given that there are wide ranging discrepancy in what to do and what not to do.

5.1. For example, some feel that at least a 100 days mourning would be fair.. and the marriage afterwards. Some even say on the contrary, must be married by 49/100 days or so.

 

5.2. You will be surprised that some matriach even insists a marriage after THREE Yes! 3 years not 1 year you had mentioned earlier.

 

5.3. While in modern times.. some benevolent parents had "approved" their children's marriage or shorten it to 1 year.

 

6. If one does not have a strong matriach (either non-existent) or a benevolent grand mother (or elder) should consider what are your PLANS and refer to Para 4, above. 

 

Thus there is really no one-size fits all. The good thing is that our Chinese customs are suppose to be flexible. 

 

Alternatively, depending on one's religion, if one is a staunch buddhist could seek their belief's priest for advice.

 

In modern times, it is best that you discuss with your immediate parents and fiance. And then approach her parents for consent. Given that you are the male side in our Chinese society.